Sex Guides

The Ultimate Guide to Spanking

The-Ultimate-Guide-to Spanking

Why Am I Reading This?

We Spank was founded to empower people to safely explore pleasure and pain in their personal lives.

We exist to CREATE exceptional sexual experiences:

  • Communication
  • Rhabdophilia – A fetish of being spanked
  • Education
  • Acceptance
  • Trust
  • Exploration

The Ultimate Guide to Spanking has been created to enable anyone to explore spanking. 

This Little Guide gives you everything you need to know about spanking with a Spank paddle.

Read it, share it & enjoy it. 

Remember, pleasure starts and ends with the mind. 

Who Is In Control?

We believe in a different trust dynamic in a submissive – dom relationship. 

At We Spank, we believe the power actually lays with the person being spanked. 

The person being spanked controls the speed and force, they control the entire experience & they have power to crush dreams in an instant. It’s as simple as that.

So with great power comes great trust.

Trust, communication, acceptance & exploration are key to an amazing We Spank experience.

What About Safe Words?

You’ve probably heard of safe words before, yes, we also believe in them.

At We Spank, we actually spank. Our favourite type of safe word system is the Kink Spectrum:

  • Black – I love it, give me more
  • White – I’m close to my limit
  • Red – Stop, stop stop

It’s as simple as that. When you hear Red, drop the paddle, communicate and look after each other.

Where Can I Spank?

We’re not fans of complicated diagrams, so to keep it simple, start with only spanking the following areas:

  • Bum
  • Back of Thighs

If your partner attempts to spank you in a different area, you reserve the right to grab the paddle and give them a reflective paddle across the face.

The Spanker Test

Before you dare to spank anyone with a paddle, make sure you spank yourself first. 

It is essential that you understand your own strength and have experienced what your partner might be feeling before you begin.

Tall or short, wide or thin, male or female, it doesn’t matter. 

Don’t you dare pick up one of our paddles if you are not willing to use it on yourself first. 

Do this before every session & do it in front of your partner. 

It builds the trust you both need to feel safe playing with We Spank paddles. 

It is also a great way to double check the paddle is in a good condition and ready to be used safely.

We normally use our thighs or forearms to test our paddles before a play session.An Invisible Bond

Whether this will be a one-off session & you will never see each other again, or you are 10 years deep into a soon-to-be kinky marriage, there will always be an Invisible Bond.

You are both in complete service to each other. 

With than in mind:

  • Turn your phone off
  • Make sure the room is warm & comfortable
  • Over communicate; as assumptions are our enemy
  • Understand that the spankee is in control not the spanker

The Basics

How Do I Spank?

Once you’ve covered the rules, discussed the Kink Spectrum (black, white, red) and completed the Spanker Test you’re ready to start using your We Spank paddle together.

The Rule of 5

Five is the magic number when it comes to using a We Spank paddle. 

It’s enough for your partner to ‘feel it’, enough for you to enjoy it, but also the perfect number for your partner to be able tell you where they are on the Kink Spectrum.

Spank 5 times, then stop. Check your partner is safe and enjoying it, then start again.

What Positions Should We Start In?

Start slowly & keep it simple when using a We Spank paddle with your partner. 

One of the best positions for a spankee to be in to start with is the “I’ve Been Naughty” position, they should:

  • Have a naked bottom
  • Put both hands flat on the table, shoulder width apart
  • Speak their legs a shoulder be width apart
  • Put a little arch in their back
  • Have a cheeky glance back over their shoulder, as that alway makes it just that touch more sexy

The spanker holding the We Spank paddle should be one arm’s length behind the spankee.

How Do I Hold a We Spank paddle?

Pop your We Spank paddle in your favourite hand. 

Take a soft but secure grip around the handle. 

Don’t squeeze it, you shouldn’t be able to see the veins popping out on the back of your hands.

After you have tested your paddle on yourself, practice taking gentle swings in the air with your new paddle. 

After a few practice swings you should be comfortable and in full control of your We Spank paddle.

Keep the paddle flat on each swing. You want the flat side of your paddle to spank your 

partner, not the edge. It’s a spank not a chop.

Now it’s time for the fun!

How Do I Swinging The Paddle?

Start off with five gentle spanks with your We Spank paddle, it’s important that you and your partner are comfortable to continue.

When you’re starting, it’s best to aim for a nice flat paddle spank on the bum cheeks, five on one side, then five on the other.

The Spank

There are pretty much two types of feelings that your partner will experience when getting spanked:

  • An exciting sting – this is when you quickly remove the paddle from the skin after each spank
  • A thuddy pain – this is when you leave the paddle on the skin for a longer after each spank

Experiment with your partner and see what they like best or even better, what combination of feelings they like best.

Interesting Techniques

We’ve put together a list of techniques to make your spanking session even more enjoyable. They are all based on using our Rule of 5 with your We Spank paddle:

Quick Release – Quickly remove the paddle from your partner’s skin after each spank. This will produce a stinging sensation.

Slow Release – Leave the paddle on your partner’s skin for a few seconds after each spank. This will produce a stronger thuddy sensation.

The Lesson – Quickly spank your partner 5 times in exactly the same spot with exactly the same force. Short swings really close to the bum. The sensation will become more intense with each spank, teach them…a lesson.

The Burn – Start with a light first spank and then gradually get harder with each remaining spank. This will produce a burning sensation

The Shock – Once you and your partner are comfortable with your We Spank paddle, The Shock is something you should definitely try. 

The Shock starts off with one hard and firm spank, with each remaining spank getting more gentle. 

You are aiming for a hard to light spanking effect that suddenly shocks your partner and grabs their full attention.

Aftercare

Aftercare is one of the most important parts of every spanking session. 

Do not start a spanking session if you do not have time for aftercare.

Aftercare is split into two parts:

  • Communication – discuss your experience, see how each other feels, what should change and what you both loved.
  • Physical Attention – cuddle, touch, stroke & care for each other. 

Your partner’s skin may be raised, red & sore to touch after a We Spank session.

This is part of the We Spank experience. 

Run your fingers over the skin of your partner if they are comfortable with it. The marks are beautiful, your partner is beautiful and your shared experience has been beautiful.